WHAT IS REAL WILL NEVER RETURN
I WOKE UP HARD AND BROKE. IT IS A RECURRING NIGHTMARE. I WAS LOVED FOR WHO I AM.
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SOMETIMES MY HEART BEGINS TO SEPARATE. FROM THE SIGNS THAT WOULD BURY OUR LIVES.
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A GNAWING THAT IS HARD ON YOUR LIFE WHILE LIVING IN THE BELLY OF A LIE. I AM ASHES AND POLORIZED. YOU ONLY GET TO LOOK AT YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU ARE LEAVING IT. PINNED INSIDE A PHOTOGRAPH.
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WE TRIED TO SING FOR OUR LIVES WHILE WE WERE CHILDREN. NOW, RUNNING IN PLACE WITH TREMBLING KNEES, WE FLOAT ACROSS THE DAY AND TELL OURSELVES STORIES. AGAIN, AS A SINNER NO MORE, I DREW ELEVEN DESPARATE STRAIGHT LINES.
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I NEED A PLACE WHERE I CAN REST MY HEAD. A LONELY ANGEL CAME TO SING ME TO MY DEATH. SUMMERS BLOOD IS HERE. A TRANSFER OF TRAGEDY IN THE SUNSET CHILL WITH SWIFT VICTORY AND THEN SIN. BUT WITH CAUTION, MY ARROGANCE DID RESCIND.
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I WATCHED IT AS IT ALL SLOWLY WENT OUT OF PLACE. THE SUMMER TUMBLED AND FELL. I LIVE FOR THOSE DAYS WHEN WE LIVED BY OUR FRIENDS AND WE HID BEHIND WORDS THAT MADE US FEEL NEEDED. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, MY HEART IS BREAKING TOO.
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YOUR WANTINGS COUNT. AND THEY BREAK THE WEATHERS COMPOSURE. ONCE ANCHORED IN RUST AND WITH JUST ONE BREATH YOU ARE LIKE ANIMALS THAT ONCE COLLECTED RADIANCE.
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WE FADE OUT. WE DISAPPEAR. A WATCHER AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD. I WIPE THE SLEEP FROM MY EYES AND WHILE WAKING UP I’M THINKING. “CHRIST…I’M ALREADY LOSING”.
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WE SPENT OUR NIGHTS WISHING FOR NICE THINGS. I BREATHED INTO YOUR LUNGS. AND WONDERING, "IS IT NOT WORTH IT TO YOU TO COME VISIT US AND HELP?" SEEKING MATTERS IN BLACK AND WHITE, THE SONG PLAYING WAS TROUBLING ME. ANOTHER TETHERED THOUGHT LIFTED MY MIND, "PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, HE'S NOT COMING."
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YOU WERE CALLING FOR ME OUTSIDE OF A DREAM AND WITH A HEAVY HEART AND BAD POSTURE I SAID, "I WANT TO BE SOMEONE LIKE DAINEL, SPARED FROM THE LION. WHILE EVERYONE WE KNOW IS JUST LEFT TO DIE."
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